I wrote a little last night. I stayed up til 3am and got five pages done. That’s an accomplishment for me, I’m a very slow writer. I feel like I’m losing Jude (my male protagonist) in the story. His character is getting a little muddled. Often I feel that the stronger Helen’s (my female protagonist) character gets, the more I lose my grasp on Jude. It’s a pain. There’s a movie that inspired me to write Jude’s character, and I had to skim through it on YouTube last night to get a hold of him again.
I had a dream about him a few weeks ago. It was pretty rad. I was going into my house, and there he was sitting in my kitchen with my mom. It was the coolest thing ever. He looked and behaved exactly like I imagine him too (obviously), and he knew who I was. XD It’s been a long time since I was that excited. To meet your own character, your own creation, even in a dream, is something that is more fascinating than I could ever explain. It also gave me a really clear idea of what interacting with him would be like. Sometimes I feel that being a writer, you become this omniscient force that observes the lives of the people you create. (You don’t control them, they control what you write :]) You observe them, or at least I do, through this cloud of consciousness. Sometimes it’s hard to see how they see each other, because I’m so very aware of how I see them. It’s difficult to put yourself in the perspective of a limited viewpoint.
Another cool thing about the dream is that I was totally aware that he was my creation. It was like two subconscious parts of my mind were coming together. I can’t explain how weird and fascinating that was. It makes my brain tingle just thinking about it. I would love to hear what a psychologist would think of that!
But this dream gave me a very unique, limited, personal view of him. He was magnificent! I wish I could dream about him more often, that way I wouldn’t get half hazard with his character as I did last night. I was dangerously close to writing my story, instead of writing his. I guess I just have to hold onto that very special memory of the dream so that I can continue to see him as Helen, or any other character would.