When faith is your Job, You will never be Underemployed.

Lately I’ve been wondering why my life is in such a stasis. I graduated from college a few months ago and I haven’t been able to find a paying internship or permanent full-time job. It’s been getting pretty frustrating for me because I’m dependent upon my parents’ help since my only source of income is freelance work, which has been irregular. I absolutely hate being dependent. I am eager when it comes to starting my own life and getting on my feet. I hate using my parents money not because I don’t value their support, but because I know how much they have to sacrifice so that I can have money for gas, cell phone, etc. I’m freelance writing and working at a volunteer internship, but I can’t help but feel that I’m just another underemployment statistic.

Basically, I’m just plain feeling sorry for myself because of my situation, and I said several times, “God, why aren’t you giving me the opportunities I need? Why are you holding me back when I’m ready to move forward and take on responsibilities?” I was so desperate to get a full-time job that I had prepared for. I kept thinking, I didn’t work my ass off at college and work at several volunteer internships to take a part-time retail job and make $8 an hour, I wanted to make real money that I could support myself with and I wasn’t willing to consider anything except for a job that was “worthy” of me, or that I could be proud of.

As usual, God readily provided his response.

Today in a sermon my pastor reviewed the instance with Christ and Peter, and how Christ had to show his followers via the miracle of the fish that they can depend only on him for their needs in life. When following Christ, the disciples went from their jobs as fishers, farmer and laborers, to daily dependence on God’s provision for their meals. My pastor made these five points on following God:

1) In the Christian life, it’s all or nothing. You’re either following Him completely and wholeheartedly, or you’re not following Him at all.

2) Obedience to His plan is a mental attitude as well as a literal action. You can’t be obedient begrudgingly.

3) The promises of His word and the mental attitude of patient faith must proceed the action of obedience. In other words, even if you’re obedient, it won’t work to your advantage if you have a crappy and negative viewpoint.

4) Don’t be obedient for the wrong reasons, such as self-service or self aggrandizing.

5) Never doubt His provisions in your life.

I think that I was so interested in putting myself in a position that I thought I was ready for or that I deserved, whether for the black hole in my wallet or some form of self-gratification, that I was paying no attention to what might glorify Him. Maybe the way to glorify Him is to take a position that is “beneath” my qualifications and to continue to focus on His word, or maybe He just wanted to remind me that I’m not completely in control here.

Perhaps He wants me to see that no matter where I am in life or how much money I’m making, I will always be provided for. His grace is always present and active in my life, no matter what kind of job I have, or even if I don’t have one. Overall, I have to put faith in Him before I put faith in myself, and I have to never fear the circumstances I am in, no matter how difficult or frustrating they are. HE is the reason for my motivation, and HIS glory is what I should see in every opportunity I get, or don’t get, whatever the case may be.

In this case, I have to take a leaf from Peter’s book and say, “Yes God, I was afraid, but I won’t be. I trust you and I will follow you, wherever you lead.”

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BPT Day 10

WHOOP!!! Day ten!! Unfortunately I sustained a pinky-toe fracture last night after accidentally running into the same box twice with the same foot, so I won’t be running for a while 😦 But I can still do weight work if I’m careful.

Today’s Stats:

Miscellaneous forearm and bicep/tricep curls

30 box jumps

90 squats (50 of which were with an 8lb medicine ball)

5 pull-ups + 10 triangle push-ups x3

5 push presses + 5 burpees x3

7 dead lifts with 20 lbs

30 standing ab crunches per side with 10lbs

30 lunges, 10lbs raised

30 floor side crunches per side

15 L leg lifts

80 second plank

30 crunches with yoga ball

5 Alex’s with 5lbs


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BPT Day 9

Another run today. My gym is closed until tomorrow! X(


15 pull-ups

10 sit-ups

Time: 26min 33sec

Distance: Unknown

Temp: 64 degrees

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BPT Day 8

Went on a lovely hike down a beach trail with my dog and my best buddy who came out of uptown for a visit. I think I need to get my pack straps adjusted. They feel like they put a lot of pressure on my neck and the pack rests further down than it should. Regardless, had a blast!


Distance: 3.0 miles

Time: 1hour 10min

Weight: 20lbs

Temp.: Unknown

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BPT Day 7

I had forgotten how much I love running. It’s incredibly therapeutic. I had a rough day today, so I had the urge to run and it felt amazing. One huge deficit in my schedule is regular cardio. I need to make daily runs or every-other-day runs a routine for myself. I can’t let cardio slide from my routine. Cardio is a huge part of backpacking, especially at a high grade. The stronger your heart and lungs, the better they function at high altitude. And plus, you’re heart starts beating pretty hard when you’re carrying 50lbs for 8 miles.


Time: 27 min 17 sec

Temperature: 73 degrees

Distance: Unknown

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BPT Day 6

Whoop! Day six! My schedule has been getting a little messy and I skipped my cardio in between weight training days, so I decided to focus on cardio and core yesterday. Also, I don’t think I’ve really ever mentioned this, but I have a lengthy pre and post workout stretch routine. I think it’s very important to warm up well, otherwise you can’t do your best, and you might hurt yourself.


10 minute cycling

2 minute jump rope

1 minute punching bag carry

20 box jumps (taller box this time!!!)

Miscellaneous tricep work that I can’t remember… (I really should’ve brought a note pad to the gym)

10 Pull ups + 10 triangle push ups x2

5 Push presses + 10 burpees x2

100 squats with 8 lb medicine ball

2 minute plank with yoga ball

40 yoga ball crunches

20 ‘L’ leg lifts

20 floor side crunches (per side)

30 leg lifts (per side)

30 rainbow glut crunches (not sure what they’re really called, but that’s my name for them)

5 up-hill runs

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Transitions Suck, and…a Sequel in the Making?

So I’ve been finding it really hard to write for the last couple of days. Partly this is due to exhaustion, but I think it’s because I’ve reached a huge transition in the novel, and I suck at writing clean transitions. I’ve reached the point of the book where the world opens up for my heroine, Helen. She’s introduced to the city where Jude lives, and this city will remain the scenic center of the novel until the climax of the plot. This is a very key point in the story, because at this point, my two protagonists are just getting to know each other, and the city opens up a whole new can of worms as far as the main conflict of the story.

The problem I’m having right now is a limitation of sight. I can see the rest of the storyline clearly, but the transition is all a blur. It’s important at this point to develop the relationship between the protagonists, and I’m having trouble keeping their characters constant. I feel like I’m losing them in a fog; I can’t see where they are or what’s happening. What’s even more frustrating is that usually what I do when I’m struggling with transitions is to write the scenes directly before and directly after the fog, just to organize my thoughts. Sometimes writing the figurative destination of a scene can help you to clear up the details of how the characters came to that point.  But in this case, I made a pact with myself when I began writing this novel that I would NOT under ANY circumstances jump ahead in the plot or write the scenes out of sequential order. (I did this because it tends to distract me and lead to a crap-load of re-editing) I don’t want to break my promise, but I also don’t want to get in a rut just because a few scenes are foggy and refuse to be put into words at the present.

I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. I don’t know if I trust myself enough to not get distracted if I temporarily skip over parts of the storyline.

In other news, I’ve been realizing that lately I’ve been developing a new plot line in my noggin. Usually it would concern me and I would fear that I’m losing interest or patience in my current project. The reason I don’t feel that way now is because… (drum-roll, people…) the ideas that are developing are for a sequel.

I have never in a gazillion years thought that I would be able to write a sequel for any project. To be honest, my attention span for my own work is very short, and I’ve always had trouble sticking with a novel let alone thinking of a follow-up. But yet, the ideas are coming forth without warning. This is more exciting to me than pretty much anything right now. The fact that I’m subconsciously developing a sequel means that I am even more invested in my characters than I thought. XD

I love my protagonists to death, and I’m already imagining their lives after the end of my current novel. This fact is extremely motivating for me for my current project; if I know there will be a sequel, then I absolutely have to finish this novel, and ASAP, before the ideas burst out of my head!!! Can I get an A-WHOOP!


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BPT Day 5

This was yesterday’s 😛 Lighter than I would’ve liked, but I was pressed for time. Pretty sore still! Probably will be for a while. Some high school boys were in the gym with me, and it’s always nice to be throwing around weights like the big boys!


5 push presses (just the bar) + 7 burpees + 5 push presses with 10lbs + 7 burpees

20 box jumps

10 deadlifts with 20 lbs

5 pull-ups + 10 triangle push-ups x2

20 squats with 10 lb medicine ball + 40 squats with 8 lb medicine ball

30 lunges with 10lbs raised

20 second plank x3 (minute total)

20 side crunches per side with 10lbs

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Backpack Training Day 4 (RedCliff?)

I’m thinking about applying for an internship with RedCliff Ascent, a program that exposes at risk teens to the wild for 8 days. It would be an immense challenge for me. I’ve never done a backpacking trip of that magnitude. Something tells me I’m not ready for that, especially because a) a longer trip means more food and water to carry in, and more food and water means more weight and b) my only backpacking trip was a 2 day excursion, and I felt like I was going to die…. I think I’d definitely need to work up to an 8 day trip. Still, I’m always up for a challenge. Maybe I will apply. There’s always time to train between now and June 🙂

Today I did a pack walk. Small hills interspersed with a brisk jog.


Time: 35 minutes

Pack weight: 30 lbs

Temp: 52 degrees

Distance: 1.3 miles


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Backpack Training Day 3

Whoohoo!!! Day number three. I feel pretty much awesome that I’ve kept myself regular, but I really shouldn’t celebrate yet. This was actually yesterday’s routine, I just got caught up and didn’t write it out until today.

I did some weight work yesterday. Most of my routine I have developed out of Crossfit style components. I’ve been considering joining a crossfit group but I like working out by myself way too much. Plus the expense is currently an issue for me. So I kept the routine light, especially because I was feeling under the weather yesterday afternoon. (It’s a full blown sick day today…)

Stats for yesterday:

60 Squats with 8lb medicine ball

20 second advanced planks (using a box and a yoga ball), x3

20 box jumps

3 push presses (bar only) alternated with 5 burpees, x3

15 deadlifts with 20lbs

5 pullups alternated with 5 triangle pushups, x4

30 lunges with 10lbs raised

20 leg lifts

20 side crunches with 10lbs

20 kettlebell swings (10lb)

10 Alex’s (I think I invented them, a little like a burpee but with hand weights and full pushups) 10lbs

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say that I’ve been doing this stuff for a month or two, and if you don’t have any weight training, do not attempt some of these things before getting proper instruction. You can and most likely will hurt yourself. Also something to consider is that your tendons can get damaged wayyy before your muscles can, so even if you feel like you might be able to push yourself with some extra weight, keep in mind that the damage my show up later. It’s never a good idea to jump straight into an intense routine. Always work up to a good weight.

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